“I’ll Change for You” – Radical Wallowing
You are not at fault for relating to Mitski’s new song.
by Lailah Williams MPA’26published February 19th, 2026
I have been a Mitski fan since early high school, which, in my opinion, has given me time to fall in love with the universes created by her last three albums. Laurel Hell, my favorite work by her and my first tour experience, showed me the timelessness of her art. Now, as a graduate student and diving face first into my early twenties, her upcoming album, Nothing’s About to Happen to Me, gives me high hopes.
Mitski has released two singles ahead of the album’s release on February 27th, “Where’s My Phone” and “I’ll Change for You.” “I’ll Change for You” is a bossa nova-inspired, jazzy single in which Mitski laments about what she would do to be loved again by a former partner. The song is devastating (not unlike her other songs with similar messages), but this one feels different. She describes the process of writing this song through her desire to have something “pathetic” on the page.
It can be liberating to be “in our feelings” without regard for how we’ll be perceived or judged. To scream, kick and cry because the ending of a romance left us hollow. Part of the reason why I have such a reverence for creatives is for the simple fact that they can put the ugliest of our emotions to words.
“The chorus echoes through my mind:
'Cause I'll do anything
For you to love me again
If you don't like me now
I will change for you”
Mitski gives us permission to grieve, to wait around to be called, to be unabashed about feeling crushed. She encourages feeling “pathetic.” I love this gesture and I am hopeful that the rest of the album will reflect her loving acceptance.
When our romances end, we are expected to dust ourselves off, turn on a playlist (likely with a few of Mitski’s many hits), maybe do some retail therapy, and then finally, move on.
Despite the show of strength that I am quick to applaud when I witness someone get over a break-up, I think wallowing can be radical! I do not think it is pathetic to wonder what went wrong. I have no hang-ups calling my friends over and over to talk about the same five texts. It is healthy to take romantic pain and turn it into something new, but it is equally as healthy to feel emotions that do not appear as neatly defined.
No one should be encouraged to change things about themselves to get a partner back or to even change someone’s mind, but many of us have been there mentally. If I crack less jokes and change my fashion, maybe they’ll take me back.
I want to be clear, it is not that this song is encouraging people to change themselves, but the song IS giving its listeners the space to embrace the ugly thoughts that come because there is no shame in being human. These feelings are a broader symptom of emotional suppression that existed long before Mitski started recording and have been illuminated by other prolific artists. Instead of viewing love ending as normal and wounding, we are told that you can only heal by “bossing up” and “changing your mindset.” We are told that bravery can only come in the form of showing the world how unbothered you are.
I believe bravery can also be present in wallowing and pushing back on a timeline of grief. To say, “I am sad and it hurts” and “I would do anything to go back to a time where romantic love knew me.” Presently, it is not in fashion to be firm in your wish to not move on.
Mitski has released two singles ahead of the album’s release on February 27th, “Where’s My Phone” and “I’ll Change for You.” “I’ll Change for You” is a bossa nova-inspired, jazzy single in which Mitski laments about what she would do to be loved again by a former partner. The song is devastating (not unlike her other songs with similar messages), but this one feels different. She describes the process of writing this song through her desire to have something “pathetic” on the page.
It can be liberating to be “in our feelings” without regard for how we’ll be perceived or judged. To scream, kick and cry because the ending of a romance left us hollow. Part of the reason why I have such a reverence for creatives is for the simple fact that they can put the ugliest of our emotions to words.
“The chorus echoes through my mind:
'Cause I'll do anything
For you to love me again
If you don't like me now
I will change for you”
Mitski gives us permission to grieve, to wait around to be called, to be unabashed about feeling crushed. She encourages feeling “pathetic.” I love this gesture and I am hopeful that the rest of the album will reflect her loving acceptance.
When our romances end, we are expected to dust ourselves off, turn on a playlist (likely with a few of Mitski’s many hits), maybe do some retail therapy, and then finally, move on.
Despite the show of strength that I am quick to applaud when I witness someone get over a break-up, I think wallowing can be radical! I do not think it is pathetic to wonder what went wrong. I have no hang-ups calling my friends over and over to talk about the same five texts. It is healthy to take romantic pain and turn it into something new, but it is equally as healthy to feel emotions that do not appear as neatly defined.
No one should be encouraged to change things about themselves to get a partner back or to even change someone’s mind, but many of us have been there mentally. If I crack less jokes and change my fashion, maybe they’ll take me back.
I want to be clear, it is not that this song is encouraging people to change themselves, but the song IS giving its listeners the space to embrace the ugly thoughts that come because there is no shame in being human. These feelings are a broader symptom of emotional suppression that existed long before Mitski started recording and have been illuminated by other prolific artists. Instead of viewing love ending as normal and wounding, we are told that you can only heal by “bossing up” and “changing your mindset.” We are told that bravery can only come in the form of showing the world how unbothered you are.
I believe bravery can also be present in wallowing and pushing back on a timeline of grief. To say, “I am sad and it hurts” and “I would do anything to go back to a time where romantic love knew me.” Presently, it is not in fashion to be firm in your wish to not move on.
Sometimes, there are days where I reflect on romance and instead of turning to Mitski, I want to listen to music that gives me the strength to turn pain into something more positive. It can be rewarding to push yourself to move forward, even when it feels awful.
Despite this, I think I am grateful to Mitski for letting the unseemly nature of love lost take up space in her art.
Mitski is a woman of color, and while there are differences in our experiences, a song like “I’ll Change for You,” highlights the sentiments that many minority, feminine-identifying people feel.
If I was more like the “beauty standard," would I be more appealing? Of course not, but you are not at fault for feeling that way. No one is at fault for relating to very real moments of longing that transform us into less optimistic people. The honesty of “I’ll Change for You” serves as an outlet to let the irrational roam free.
The passion we feel that comes after we wallow moonlights as soft space to land when love eventually returns.